when i was in grade 3 our class was having a party and i brought in the shrek soundtrack and everyone loved it and the girl i had a crush on winked at me i owe everything to shrek
“am I top or bottom” I whispered as we started a two player game of Mario Kart
men are upset about getting judged for wearing fedoras???? wow, sure must be awful to have your character judged based on what you choose to wear. i can’t even imagine what that must be like
I have an obsession with quotes because other people are so much better at putting my feelings into words than I am
wait if eve ate the apple then why the fuck is it called an adam’s apple
because she ate the apple, and then convinced adam to eat the apple as well so that she wouldn’t be alone, but the piece he bit off got stuck in his throat.
It got stuck because at the exact moment he was swallowing, God jumped out from behind a bush like
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!”